Confusing and Magical 2022

I’ve not written any blog posts since I wrote the article about switching to LitePress. If I have to find a reason, it might be that I’m too busy, time is passing too quickly, and there are many other things to deal with. However, no matter how many reasons I can find, they can’t hide the fact that I have wasted my time. I only have three articles that are maybe slightly valuable.

This year passed too quickly, time has wings and it stays not the fool leisure.Perhaps the only way to reflect on this surreal and transformative year is through snapshots in my phone album, weekly reports I submitted, and fleeting memories that linger in my mind.

It’s been over a year since I started working. Not long ago, while taking the high-speed train back home, I reflected on how long I’ve been working away from home, the state of my skill set, and how much I’ve truly improved. After organizing my thoughts, I realized that because my tasks were extremely diverse, I’ve touched on various technologies, including HOOPS lightweight 3D models, Vue, fineReport, Mendix low-code development, Grafana for monitoring, and Docker. However, my understanding of these is only superficial, and my ability to apply them is limited to basic use. This lack of depth means that while my reports might look impressive on PPTs with a lot of content, when it comes to actual implementation or explaining the principles, I struggle to articulate clearly or go deeper.

I can’t help but feel that the problems I face and my own fragility are strikingly similar—I seem to be stuck in a state of being lost or adrift. I want to accomplish something tangible to ‘prove’ myself, or perhaps to ‘fill’ the void and temporarily escape the fears arising from my overthinking.

Regrettably, as 2022 came to an end, I still hadn’t escaped this feeling. I managed to earn a few junior developer certifications, but only I know how low my current development skills truly are. Moving forward, I might need to focus on solidifying my foundations while specializing in a particular field in order to truly improve.

The sudden ‘relaxation’ of restrictions at the end of the year gave me firsthand experience of contracting COVID-19. It took a full ten days to recover—from the onset of fever to complete recovery. I was bedridden with a high fever for four days, followed by severe pharyngitis that required another four days of IV treatment before I finally recovered. For a long time after, I avoided intense physical activity and noticed a significant decline in my stamina. After some rehabilitation and adjustments, I recently tried a short jog and found I could manage it, which means I can gradually incorporate fitness into my routine again.

I still thoroughly enjoy the creative process. The feeling of my fingertips flying across the keyboard and the satisfying clicks of the keys bring me joy. However, I’ve begun to set higher standards for the quality of my creations. Ensuring high-quality output and avoiding low-quality content might just become my goal for the next year.

Looking ahead to the coming year, I’m not setting too many expectations. I plan to take each day one step at a time, focus on maintaining a healthy routine and lifestyle, and make every day fulfilling. There’s already a lot to keep me busy right at the start of the year. Sometimes, I’ll channel my bursts of inspiration into creative work; other times, I’ll work hard to enrich my knowledge base. And occasionally, I’ll pause to evaluate whether I’m heading in the right direction. It’s important not to grasp at everything—specialization is key. I aim to write more articles, save more code, accumulate more knowledge, and also exercise regularly. I want to foster a more positive mindset and avoid self-sabotaging thoughts.

In short, I believe the future is bright. I will strive to make each day fulfilling, to frequently document the traces of time, and to calmly manage my life with patience and diligence.

Unless otherwise stated, all articles on this blog are licensed underCC BY-NC-SA 4.0license. The author reserves all rights. Please credit the source if you wish to reprint.