Tsukistar's 2021 Yearly Review

At the end of 2021, my blog underwent a big migration. Due to the CODING static page hosting service being discontinued, I had to move the entire blog to Tencent Cloud’s Webify, which took a lot of effort. Then, the CDN transfer also took a long time, and later, the update of the SSL certificate, all of which required a lot of effort.

I’ve been writing blogs for over three years, starting with renting a server to set up WordPress, then renting a virtual host to build a site, then moving back to China to use static pages and image hosting, and finally moving to the current solution of registering the blog and hosting it on Tencent Cloud, with images and some static resources stored in DogeCloud. From full self-operation to now focusing on content without worrying about maintenance, there are both advantages and disadvantages, and I personally prefer this local editing, uploading to the cloud and continuously deploying method.

In this article, I want to look back at the year 2021 that I have passed.

The last time I looked back was two years ago, so for the question “how did I spend 2020”, my mind only retained the events that happened after the two of us started together and some scattered fragments from before. In a sense, it is both unfortunate and fortunate that I still have many scattered thoughts (I write something when I am extremely depressed or particularly touched), which I have to admit that the problems I face and my own vulnerability are similar. I seem to be in a state of being lost, and I want to do something that can prove myself and make myself to temporarily forget the many fears in my thoughts.

But one year has passed, writing still helps me to calm down and temporarily alleviate the current anxiety, and I can take a break from other things. The process of writing is also a kind of sorting and “packing” of thoughts, as if only after writing, many floating thoughts in my mind will disappear, and they will not come to disturb me and let me sink into the self-struggle of consciousness, making time slip away.

This year has been a big change for me, as I left the ivory tower and officially entered the workforce. In the first half of the year, I was constantly working hard on my graduation thesis, and in the second half, I also worked hard to improve myself in my spare time. In the new environment, I gradually figured out many things, and compared to my other many friends, I am fortunate, as the work pressure is not large and I have time for self-improvement. However, even though the work is stable, if I don’t move forward myself, there will always be a feeling of being eliminated, and only by being self-reliant can I more fully realize my self-value.

After finishing my thesis, I temporarily put down Python and started learning Vue to prepare for the front-end development work of the department. There were several trainings within the group, and I also wanted to continue learning about serverless, so I signed up for some technical salon activities. Although I missed several opportunities due to my own reasons, I hope I won’t miss them in the future.

Second, I have been exposed to many new things, and I have been trying to improve myself. I also accepted a new family member: Ms. SeaCucumber (my tabby cat), which is now living very comfortably at home. In the second half of the year, I started taking care of myself with my salary, saving money for myself to improve and change my situation to make my life better, and at the same time, I started making some changes to myself, hoping that I can be enriched both outwardly and inwardly. As time goes by, I increasingly believe that my inner self will gradually influence my outer self. At least my laziness has started to make my image less energetic, completely unlike an upward-moving person. I hope I can reawaken myself through a more positive and healthy lifestyle with exercise.

I often think about how this year has been a mess, compared to before, this year I have actually taken a step back, I wasted too much time on idle thoughts, and the lack of action only made me more anxious. The current work is not really a source of stress for me, but if I can’t balance and adjust many things, I will eventually waste time and it will all be a mess.

If I don’t reflect for a long time, each passing day seems to lose its meaning, just like if I don’t look at my old diaries, I can’t seem to remember what I was thinking back then. Even though I’m gradually becoming “lazy about expressing myself”, I can’t let myself remain confused. Even though I have less and less time for myself, thinking seriously every day about whether I’ve made progress is still better than being trapped in games.

For myself in 2022, one phrase can summarize my greatest expectation: “dynamic clearing”. Dynamically clearing the things I haven’t done each day, dynamically clearing the placement of items each day, dynamically clearing each small goal, dynamically clearing the destination of each item… Using this to reject procrastination to the greatest extent possible is also a good choice.

At the beginning of the year, I sighed that this year might be a very fulfilling one, but as a month has almost passed, the plans seem to have fallen through again. Things I wanted to persist with every day have been put aside due to the cold weather and my lack of perseverance. Actually, I have endless things to do: traveling, making love diaries, making videos, recording songs, photography, writing my own projects, drawing… However, for the sake of goals, I must make choices. Even if I want to develop myself in multiple ways, I must first be able to solve basic survival problems. On one hand, I need to accumulate experience to be competent in my current job, and on the other hand, I need to improve to make my life better. I still believe that life will have its bright moments.

Actually, things aren’t so bad now. The goals are small, but the difficulty lies in persistence. Completing one small goal after another, quantitative changes will lead to qualitative changes.

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